Drunk on the Street Part II

“But you are so pretty, Pretty Lady. I think you should come with me.”

Is he kidding? “N’. Not goosh id’.”

“Dina? DINA?” I heard out of a distant place. My head snapped up like a marionette but that made me sick so I hung it back down. I tried to move around. Is someone calling my name? “Dina? What are you doing on the ground?” I watched as the foreign guy’s feet quickly moved away and a pair of Dansko clogs appeared. “Hey?” the voice said after the foreign guy. “Who are you? Are you leaving her here?”

“Ido no ‘im,”

“Dina. What are you doing?” A hand lifted up my chin up and I looked into the four eyes of my boss, Gretchen.

“Oh shee,” I said. And then I just sat down on my butt.

My boss said “Jesus,” as she grabbed me by the armpits and dragged me up over the curb and out of the gutter. “Ow,” I said futilely. My purse trailed along next to me.

“Lemme ‘splain. She, wen’ out wish Todsh.”

I saw the Dankos tapping. “Dina. Can you even stand up?”

“Ahsh…jus’ call mea cab?”

“I don’t think so. Maybe Todd is not a good person for you to go out with. I mean, he’s cute, I guess...But this is dangerous. I sure hope my daughter doesn’t do this. Did you even know that guy who you were with a minute ago?” Gretchen kept talking, basically to herself, as I watched her Danskos go back into the gutter and out on the street. Next thing I know she’s on one side of me and some new foreign guy is on the other side of me and they are hauling me up into the cab. “Whash you doin’?”

“I’m going to take you to your apartment, put you in bed and you can tell me about it on Monday. If I was your mother, I’d, well, hopefully mothers don’t know about this kind of stuff. And what happened to Todd? Why did he leave you?” she went off on another monologue while she and the cab driver stuffed me into the cab. Gretchen got in on the other side and slammed the door just as the cab driver got in and slammed his.

“Sick,” I said.

“Oh no you don’t ladies,” the cab driver said and next thing I knew I the passenger door opened and I was yanked out of the cab and propped back up against the signpost.

“What are you doing?” Gretchen shrieked as she got out of her side and the cab and raced around. “I can’t leave her here!”

“And I can’t have some girl throwing up in my cab.” I heard a door shut and I watched as the tires of the cab drove away.

I listened to the sounds of the street city. “Are you really going to be sick?” Gretchen asked.

“Don thinso now,” I told her. I was really becoming familiar with the cracks in the pavement around the signpost. I trailed my finger up a seam in the concrete and started humming.

“Jesus.” I heard the Danskos tapping. “All right. I’m taking you to my house.”

“Ylive ‘ere?”

“Yes, I live right around the corner.”

“N’area.”

“Ok, get up,” Gretchen leaned over me and put my arm around her shoulder. It was as if my legs had no strength. “Maybe we should take off your shoes.” Gretchen put me back down and took off my shoes.

“Y’re really good boss,” I slurred, trying to be nice.

“Yeah,” she stuck my 3-inch heels in her oversized bag. “I can’t believe you wear these thing to the office. How do you even walk around all day?”

“I dunno.” We started slowly moving down the street, although to me it looked more like a sideways hill. I started to giggle.